Where am I Going

This month I celebrated a birthday. I turned 26. While it was not in any way one of the great "milestone" birthdays, nor did it automatically make me part of some special group (the cool 30's?) for me it was a big deal. Unlike new years eve, my birthday has always been my chance to reflect on the past and plan for the future. Because, let's be honest. Should you really be making big lofty resolutions at 2am after one(or 5) glasses of champagne? Probably not. Unless your resolution is to have a giant pot of coffee the next morning to chase down your extra strength Tylenol.

Here are the highlights of my 25th year:

Topping the list is this girl.

 

Abigail. My second child, my little girl. In the short time I have been her mother, she has taught me so very much. I enter my next year of life a better person because of her.

In comparison nothing else from the last year really matches up. It was all in preparation for her. Once she was here, it was all about adjusting to being a mother of TWO small children. The guilt, the balance, the changes it made in my relationship with my husband.

Now what do I do? How do I become a better person? Become the mother, wife, and Megan that we all deserve?

On a personal level, I want to achieve some strength outside the home. I adore being a mother, relish working on making our house a home, and get a little thrill doing nice things for my husband. Utterly domestic? Yes. 100% fufilling? No. I don't think it makes me a bad person or a less caring wife and mother to admitt that.

So one of my goals for this year is to accomplish a professional achievement outside the home. Gabe will be going to preschool, and Abby could benefit from a little more time with Daddy. I think my relationship with my family could only improve if I had a little bit of time out of the house.

I also want, no need, to be kinder to myself. It has been a whirlwind the last 3 years. Family upheavill, buying and renovating our first house, getting married, having two children. All the chaos is showing on my body. I just feel rundown some days. And my body and face are starting to catch up to the exhaustion. I'm planning to better use my time this year. No more wasting minutes. Instead, I hope to be smart with my time and utilize any spare seconds in the day to take care of myself. Like, taking a shower. That kind of stuff.

There are so many big plans for this year. I can't wait to share them. For now, the time I carved out to write this is done. Now it's time to play with this guy while the little girl is sleeping.